I’ve told the story of how I came to accept Spider as my spirit animal. If you want to hear that story you can read it here.
And of course when I finally accepted that I was going to be working with Spider, I read up on the various interpretations of Spider as totem. Most of the accepted explanations resonated for me then (and still do today).
A few weeks ago I was working with my Faeries’ Oracle deck, and came upon the blank card–a card for one’s personal guide or guardian, which I’ve never filled out because a) I didn’t have a clear sense of that guardians identity and b) I’m not very good at drawing.
It seemed, though, that the time had come to do a little pathworking and finally understand who this guardian is, and to get a sense of what the card might mean. So I chose one of my favorite ways to begin a journey and went to one of my most familiar places to wait for messages. And who should meet me there but Spider–MY spider, the spider the size of a lap dog who accompanies me on a lot of inner journeys.
There were personal messages in the working that I won’t share, of course, but one thing I gained from the experience was a sort of additional layer to my understanding of Spider’s meaning as totem. All the usual interpretations still hold–I just got a little extra personal spin. She reminded me that spiritual work, like art work, like any work, is done each day. She told me to consider an actual spider in the natural world, the shimmering beautiful work of art made each day to bring her what she needs. There is never a moment when spider stops being a spinner of her web; she works, she rests, she waits for the fruits of her labor, and she works again.
Spider reminded we that we never finish, and we are not meant to. That we may remember those huge, pivotal “aha” moments, those revelations and flashes of understanding–but those moments aren’t necessarily miraculous gifts from the gods. Okay, sometimes they are. But sometimes they are simply the result of weaving our web diligently and patiently until the big payoff gets caught in its strands.
I came to Spider that afternoon to ask about a choice I needed to make. She assured me, as she assures us all, that the outcome of our big choices often depends on the little choices we make each day. We weave our lives every day, and every day we get to choose how we do it. The big choices aren’t the end of the story, they’re the beginning. How we spin the web every day after that is what truly determines our fate.