A (real life) friend and I were discussing which fictional characters we like and dislike the other day, and we were definitely not in agreement on most of them. It took a while, but we figured out that she tends to prefer characters she would want to spend time with in real life. And I . . . well, I seem to go for the damaged goods and prefer characters who, in real life, I wouldn’t go anywhere near. Which led me to consider some of my absolute FAVORITE characters in recent years, and how deeply and profoundly messed up they are . . . and so I had to make a list. It has a disproportionate number of vampires. I call it
Fictional Friends I’d Never Let Near My Kids
Number five: Ivy from Kim Harrison’s The Hollows series. Okay, actually I wouldn’t let ANY of the Hollows characters near my kids, with the possible exception of Jenks. Ivy wants to EAT everyone she’s attracted to. She’s either sulking or attacking. But she looks good in tight leather and she really WANTS to be a good vampire. And I totally want Rachel and Ivy to hook up.
Number four: Jace Wayland from Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series. Jace is sarcastic, moody, and conceited. Of course we all know this is how he conceals his inner turmoil. It makes for delicious dialogue, but in real life I’d want to smack him. In fiction I want to make out with him. And hey, he’s not a vampire or a demon . . .
Number three: Nick Ryves from Sarah Rees Brennan’s The Demon’s Lexicon and The Demon’s Covenant. Nick is the kind of friend who will call up a thunder storm if you upset him, put demon marks on you to keep you close, and possibly threaten you if he’s having a bad day. He is also funny as hell and . . . oh, yes of course, GORGEOUS. There is a running theme here. Some of us never learn. In real life I would nod, smile and LEAVE THE ROOM as soon as I saw him. In the books I can’t get enough of him. I want him and Mae to hook up. I like Mae–so I shouldn’t wish that on her. But I do. Oh I do. Also I want to be there to see it.
Number two: Eric Northman from the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris. Eric has no regard for human life. He’ll kill you for pissing him off. He schemes and plots and withholds information even from his lover. BUT, he’s funny. He’s loyal to those he cares about. And he’s great in bed. In real life I’d not only be TERRIFIED of him (hello, ginormous ancient bloodthirsty vampire), but he’d also totally get on my nerves. But in the books I can’t wait for the Eric scenes–and not just the naughty ones. He’s probably my favorite character in the series.
And number one: Damon Salvatore, form the Vampire Diaries TV Show (I haven’t read the books yet. Is Damon IN the books?). When regular folks get upset, they cry, or go shopping, or have a drink. When Damon Salvatore gets upset he goes on a killing spree. And if he’s mad at YOU, his killing spree will likely include your baby brother (better hope little bro has one of those rings that protect people from vampire violence). And I freakin’ love him. It’s because he has a (well hidden) vulnerable side, that tugs on the old “but my LOVE can SAVE him” tendencies that seem to go hand in hand with estrogen. Though I suspect that mostly it’s because he’s ridiculously pretty, with his blue eyes and cheekbones you could grate cheese on.
What about you? Do you want to hang out with the same kinds of people in life and in literature, or do you enjoy the questionable company in your fictional life? If you make a list on your blog, please share the link.