Fictional Friends I’d Never Let Near My Kids

A (real life) friend and I were discussing which fictional characters we like and dislike the other day, and we were definitely not in agreement on most of them. It took a while, but we figured out that she tends to prefer characters she would want to spend time with in real life. And I . . . well, I seem to go for the damaged goods and prefer characters who, in real life, I wouldn’t go anywhere near. Which led me to consider some of my absolute FAVORITE characters in recent years, and how deeply and profoundly messed up they are . . . and so I had to make a list. It has a disproportionate number of vampires. I call it

Fictional Friends I’d Never Let Near My Kids

Number five: Ivy from Kim Harrison’s The Hollows series. Okay, actually I wouldn’t let ANY ofΒ  the Hollows characters near my kids, with the possible exception of Jenks. Ivy wants to EAT everyone she’s attracted to. She’s either sulking or attacking. But she looks good in tight leather and she really WANTS to be a good vampire. And I totally want Rachel and Ivy to hook up.

Number four: Jace Wayland from Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series. Jace is sarcastic, moody, and conceited. Of course we all know this is how he conceals his inner turmoil. It makes for delicious dialogue, but in real life I’d want to smack him. In fiction I want to make out with him. And hey, he’s not a vampire or a demon . . .

Number three: Nick Ryves from Sarah Rees Brennan’s The Demon’s Lexicon and The Demon’s Covenant. Nick is the kind of friend who will call up a thunder storm if you upset him, put demon marks on you to keep you close, and possibly threaten you if he’s having a bad day. He is also funny as hell and . . . oh, yes of course, GORGEOUS. There is a running theme here. Some of us never learn. In real life I would nod, smile and LEAVE THE ROOM as soon as I saw him. In the books I can’t get enough of him. I want him and Mae to hook up. I like Mae–so I shouldn’t wish that on her. But I do. Oh I do. Also I want to be there to see it.

Number two: Eric Northman from the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris. Eric has no regard for human life. He’ll kill you for pissing him off. He schemes and plots and withholds information even from his lover. BUT, he’s funny. He’s loyal to those he cares about. And he’s great in bed. In real life I’d not only be TERRIFIED of him (hello, ginormous ancient bloodthirsty vampire), but he’d also totally get on my nerves. But in the books I can’t wait for the Eric scenes–and not just the naughty ones. He’s probably my favorite character in the series.

And number one: Damon Salvatore, form the Vampire Diaries TV Show (I haven’t read the books yet. Is Damon IN the books?). When regular folks get upset, they cry, or go shopping, or have a drink. When Damon Salvatore gets upset he goes on a killing spree. And if he’s mad at YOU, his killing spree will likely include your baby brother (better hope little bro has one of those rings that protect people from vampire violence). And I freakin’ love him. It’s because he has a (well hidden) vulnerable side, that tugs on the old “but my LOVE can SAVE him” tendencies that seem to go hand in hand with estrogen. Though I suspect that mostly it’s because he’s ridiculously pretty, with his blue eyes and cheekbones you could grate cheese on.

What about you? Do you want to hang out with the same kinds of people in life and in literature, or do you enjoy the questionable company in your fictional life? If you make a list on your blog, please share the link.


29 thoughts on “Fictional Friends I’d Never Let Near My Kids

  1. Hi there! I saw the title of this blog entry, on another Blog List, and had to come over! πŸ™‚

    The only one [on your list] I’m into too, is Damon. Oh yum! Oh yum! Yes, Damon is in the books but the books are wayyyyyyyyyy different from how the tv series has taken the story line.

    Tried to get into ‘Sookie’ but couldn’t get interested. Noooooooooooo, I am nooooo prude! It wasn’t the rampant sex that turned me off. Hmmmmm, I guess I just couldn’t jump from ‘Twilight,’ to Southern “trailer trash’. IF I may be so BLUNT.

    If I can’t be blunt, I apologize for stopping by.

    Anyway……. Damon, oh Damon. I’m sure I’d fall for him in Real Life too. -chuckle- But don’t get scandalized! In any way scandalized. ‘Cause ‘Aunt Amelia’ is 74 years of age. -grin- Yup, and cut-my-Vampire-reading-teeth on “Twilight” series. ,-) Before and when my Grands, were reading them.

    Oh, did I say…. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Damon? Yes, I did. lol. But he’d not want a swoony kind of a gal. Have to act strong and interesting, to catch his eye. I really couldn’t do the “Caroline” line of, I-am-so-helpless. So I’d not try it. πŸ™‚

    Hey this is turning into a tome. So I close now.

    Gentle hugs…

    1. Aunt Amelia, I’m sure your Grands love that you are reading the same books they are reading. My stepson and I read a lot of the same fiction, and it gives us plenty to talk about!

  2. Hello . . . Love this post ! Just thought I’d say (in case you haven’t been informed yet) that indeed, Damon is in the VD books. He is a bit different but quite frankly everything is different oin the books ! From characters and family to plots and twists ! But, hey, both the show and the books are good just keep em seperate lol

    1. Leah, that is almost always true when there’s a book AND a TV Show or Movie. I like to think of the visual media as a reinterpretation of the story, the same way Westside Story is a reinterpretation of Romeo and Juliet.

      And really, why regurgitate? Why not, instead, take the story and give it a new form that is relevant in a different way? I’m going to have to read the books now too . . . it’s always good to have something new to read.

  3. Oh, Nick.

    I must admit that my approach to Nick is sort of along the lines of “Babysitting him would be somewhat rough.” Even though he’s physically 16 and has been acting like an adult for quite some time.

  4. Well number 1 and 2 are my two loves. Damon won my heart the moment I saw on TVD (nop, I don’t read the books), his eyes, OMG those eyes, I could stare at them foreve, I want to hold him, and kiss him, and let him bite me, I don’t care, he just can do with me whatever he wants.
    And Eric, OMG he’s so hot! I recently start to read the Sookie’s books, because of the show of course. I love Tv Eric and book’s Eric, he’s always prefect, he’s rude but, as you said, he protects those he cares for, and well who wouldn’t feel tempted with him? He’s a Viking! I would let him to do anything with me.
    And yes I’m always expecting for Eric scenes, in the books and on tv, he clearly is the best cahracter on the series.

    I just love these two bad-vamp!!!!!!!!

      1. The problem of being in love with a vampire is that you don’t want to live anymore. I mean, what’s the point of living if all the good ones are death?

  5. Damonnβ™₯ jaja, I lov him!
    and yes, damon appears in the books of LJ SMITH. In all of them.
    Also, he has two books dedicate for him. I don’t remember which book is, I think is five and six.
    Enjoy the books πŸ˜‰

  6. Jace has stolen my heart. Though he is sarcastic I think I would talk to him in real life πŸ™‚ I would not love him as much as I do in fiction but he’s really funny πŸ™‚ I agree about one thing, if I had kids I would not introduce them to him. Heavens only knows what he would teach them lol.

  7. I definately agree with you about no.1
    Damon πŸ˜€
    And I agree about Jace, except on my list he’s no.3
    But I would also add Patch from Hush Hush on my no.2
    I still don’t have no.4 and 5, but time will bring them πŸ™‚

      1. yeah, with time, as more and more new novels come out, the list expands πŸ™‚
        eventually, it will be top 100 lol

  8. Damon is in the books, but frankly I don’t suggest them. The TV show is just so much more delicious. I was throughly dissappointed by the book series, especially since I’d been a fan of the author :/ Oh well, at least the show is amazing (I mean, come on, Ian Somerhalder<3)

    1. I guess I’ll just have to check one out and see! That’s the best thing about the library–no financial loss if a book fails to satisfy. πŸ™‚

  9. I only know Eric and Damon from your list. I haven’t read the Sookie Stackhouse novels and I’ve only seen Season 1 of True Blood so far so I don’t really know much about Eric yet.

    But I’ve watched every episode of The Vampire Diaries and I love Damon Salvatore right from the start. He’s amazing and so much fun to watch. And when my younger brother annoys me I even start thinking why can’t Damon be her, admit that he loves me and the he can decide wether he wants to kill my brother or not… ;o)

    After 1,5 Seasons of Vampire Diaries I decided to read the books to see what Damon is like there. I almost gave up reading until Damon finally appeared on the first book. He is the only reason I kept on reading. The tv show is much better than the books I think but Damon is the best about the books and the tv show!

    1. I DIDN’T like Damon at first, and my love for him really snuck up on me. And even now, I frequently say things like “Oh Damon, when will you LEARN?”.

      I keep hoping he’ll mend his psychotic ways. The hope of women-who-love-bad-boys the world over . . .

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