April 5, 2011
Dear Ms. (REDACTED),
Please find below my resume for position of medic, farmer, and chef in your renegade Zombie consortium.
I have reviewed your criteria carefully, and I believe I would be an asset to any compound that offered me a place. I began learning post-apocalyptic appropriate life skills long before the outbreak of the Zombie virus, and have practical experience as well as theoretical knowledge.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Phone: (503) 666-6666 – Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Qualifications summary: Homesteader for the past decade, with medical, farming and cooking skills
- Herbal correspondence courses, 2006-2008, from herbsRus.com
- NW HerbFest, herbal conference, 2008, Made Up Herb Farm, Eugene, Oregon.
- Extensive collection of works on herbal healing which I will share with the commune.
- I’m not squeamish about blood.
- Growing vegetables from seed, 2009-the present
- Plucking a chicken in under a minute with my husband’s chicken plucking machine, 2009-the present
- Wildcrafting edible weeds, 2007-the present.
- Shoveling shit and soil, 2007-the present
- Pushing a loaded wheelbarrow, 2007-the present
- Growing culinary herbs–2004-the present
- Intuitive cooking-no cookbook necessary
- Rudimentary knowledge of cooking over a wood fire
- Food preservation know-how
- Ability to season food with fresh herbs and wild plants when the exotic spices run out and the trade routes are closed due to Zombie infestation.
- Fire building
- Sense of humor
- I have a husband who brews beer.
- We own the land.