Today we have a post my friend Dean, who I met on Agent Query Connect. He’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met on line, and I know he’s crazy busy, so I was pleased when he agreed to participate in the Summer of Bloggerly Love. Today I post on Dean’s blog about living by the timer. You can check it out after you read Dean’s insightful post about love. And now, here’s Dean:
Love is a Verb
First off I want to thank Michelle Simkins aka Greenwoman for the opportunity to be a guest on her wonderful blog and the source for all these memes that keep hitting the blog world. She was also very supportive and helpful in getting me to blog. So I’ll give her some credit for helping me to get it in gear and blog. In fact her Meme on writing is NOT like a box of chocolates was one of my first posts for my blog, and up to a few days ago the one with the most comments.
Well, now down to business. Michelle has proclaimed this to be the Summer of Bloggerly Love on her blog. I’ve read some of the posts about how love works for different aspects of writing. I’m going to take a little different approach.
I read somewhere, and I can’t remember where to give credit where credit is due that Love is a Verb. Love takes work. It is easy to fall in love, but it takes work to stay in love. After my family was involved in an auto accident, we went to counseling to help with recovery and healing. During the course of the sessions, I learned that if I want to make a difference in my relationships, it would be up to me to make the changes.
Steven R. Covey in his book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People points out that there is a disconnect between what happens and how we react. We choose how we will react to any situation.
If you want a loving relationship, it is up to you to generate the actions. Learn the language of your significant other. If he/she values things that take time, then do something for them that takes time. They will get the message. If they value money, then an expensive gift may work. As you discover what works in your relationship, the strength of the love grows.
Your experiences will give you material for your writing. Your characters may see each other across a crowded room and fall hopelessly in love, but they will have to work at that love to make it last. Find ways for them to show appreciation, but draw on what has worked for you. In this way believable romances can grow in your works. A nice side effect may be a better loving relationship for you as well. Love is an action verb, love takes work, but love is worth it.
Dean C. Rich clearly has superpowers, because he’s written four novels while working full time and raising a family. He’s also a generous soul who carves out time from his busy schedule to blog about writing and time management in order to, as he puts it, “help others avoid the mistakes I’ve made.” You can visit him at The Write Time.