Summer of Bloggerly Love: Guest Post by Jennifer Prescott

You can’t imagine how pleased I was when Jennifer Prescott (a.k.a. Jenny Phresh) agreed to participate in the Summer of Bloggerly love. Her blog frequently has me screaming with laughter or glowing with radiant happiness, and I feel most privileged to have her here today with a song she wrote just for our friends. I am over on her blog nattering on about the language of love; when you get done reading Jen’s post, you might want to check it out. And now, take it away, Phreshy:

The lovely Greenwoman, proprietor of this here blog, has been kind enough to invite me to guest post during her “Summer of Bloggerly Love” tour, with the theme of “love” as the guiding influence. Having recently returned from two weeks in the belly of a bear, I feared the task of writing anything coherent was beyond me. I was right.

Inspired by the ubiquitous Bruno Mars, I offer the following paean to the Goat Posse: A group of fine, writerly individuals whom I have met through the delights of bloggery and Twitterature, and who inspire and delight me every day. Is this a traditional sort of love, with flowers and chocolates? Nay, for certain, it’s not! Yet love it is.

This isn’t meant to be entirely an inside joke for those of us in the Goat Posse crew, although I realize it might seem as such. Rather, this shows what may happen when a random group of like-minded individuals find humor and the courage to keep writing when we find others of like mind in far-flung regions such as Oregon, New York, California, Texas, Nevada, and more. We are all connected, and we are all friends. So are you who read this ridiculous song mash-up.

Visit my blog at http://thepartypony.blogspot.com to read Greenwoman’s “Summer of Bloggerly Love” entry, and revel in the madness.

(Please play Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are” simultaneously with “Grenade” while reading the following.)

Goat Grenade: An Ode to the Goat Posse

Their eyes, their eyes
Glow like rodents’ eyes in the night
Their hair, their hair
Looks like Shakira’s without their trying.
They’ve all got spangly goat pants
And I tell them every day!

When I see your hooves
There’s not a thing that I would change
Because girls (and Kalen and Justin), you’re amazing, with those bumpits on your head.
The whole world stops and stares aghast
Because girls (and Kalen and Justin), you’re amazing, with those bumpits on your head.

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in my goat pen
Tossed it in my goat pen you did
To give me all your turnip greens
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don’t understand is:
I’d put my hand in a badger hole for ya!
I’d ride a goat to South Dakota for ya!
I’d stuff my head into a sack for ya!
Cause girls (and Kalen and Justin), you’re amazing, just the way you are.

Mad women, goat women
That’s just what you are, yeah yeah.
You’ll send me an emoticon on Twitter and then
Send a chicken squawking at my car.

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in my goat pen
Tossed it in my goat pen you did
To give me all your turnip greens
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don’t understand is:
I’d poke my eye with a spork for ya!
I’d stab myself with a beak of a stork for ya!
I’d cover myself in pork for ya!
Will you do the same?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’d douse me with beet juice and rutabaga shavings.
You said you’d never use the word “panty” again,
Then you wrote that crazy meme!

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in my goat pen
Tossed it in my goat pen you did
To give me all your turnip greens
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don’t understand is:
I’d paint my body green for ya!
I’d eat a bushel of beans for ya!
I’d stab myself in the spleen for ya!
Will you do the same?
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Cause girls (and Kalen and Justin), you’re amazing: Just the way you are.

Jenny Phresh is a writer, master of espionage, producer of feral boys, and assailant of fearsome creatures of cryptozoology such as the Mngwa and the Dobhar-Chu. She is afraid of almost everything, but she manages to blog regularly at The Party Pony,  and runs with the Goat Posse on Twitter.

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10 thoughts on “Summer of Bloggerly Love: Guest Post by Jennifer Prescott

  1. AHHHHHHH!!!!!

    I felt it, man. Felt it right through my spleen. Oh wait, that was you stabbing it with a spork.

    *lights candle, starts waving it*

    LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU PHRESH AND THE WHOLE GOAT GIRLS (and KALEN and JUSTIN). 😀

  2. SPORKS: The underrated, underappreciated utensil. KFC got it right, but the rest of the world missed the boat.

    You inspire, encourage, frighten and baffle me on a daily basis. You are fabulous, Pony.

    1. Two things:

      1, what, is Bruno Mars like five years old?
      2, I had to listen to Toto’s “Africa” twice to get these songs out of my head. But it was worth it.

  3. OMG!! That was soooo awesome!! Haha! LOVED IT! Phreshy, why are you wasting all your time writing books? Clearly, you should be writing songs . . . *Deep sigh* I’ve never been more proud to be a part of this herd *wipes away tear*

  4. Uh, Bethany, they also offer sporks at the fine eating establishment known in elite circles as “Taco Hell”.

    Jenny – YOU ARE SO AWESOME! Bumpits, turnip greens, panties, rutabaga shavings OH MY! I was giggling like a goat in the midst of a lesbian island orgy! 🙂

    I am so grateful and glad to be a part of the inglorious goatposse, it’s crazy amazing!

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