Usually the Last to Know

After yesterday’s heavy post I figured it was time for something a little lighthearted to remind y’all that I’m mostly a big goofy dork.

Also when I was checking out other Pagan Blog Project posts, Hare mentioned that moment when she realized she was attracted to the ladies, and it reminded me of the silliness of my own ah-HA! moment. It went something like this:

Back in 1999 I was working in an office in Grand Rapids, Michigan. There was a new-ish guy named Rick and we kind of hit it off right away, talked a lot on breaks, etc. He was reasonably attractive and I was tired of being single and I was considering trying to work up an interest in him. We went out for coffee after work.

We sat in a booth, and I was facing the counter, so I could see the barista. The new guy–I think his name might have been Rick–started telling me the story of his recently broken engagement. I think he might have been trying to get a sympathy shag, but I’m not sure because I was watching the barista. She had short hair, and was wearing a halter top. She had the most beautiful neck and shoulders I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t stop staring at her. And while Rick went on about . . . something to do with his ex, I couldn’t really focus on what he was saying–it suddenly occurred to me that the wistful feeling I was experiencing was not, in fact, about wishing I was as pretty as the girl behind the counter. It was about wishing I could kiss the girl behind the counter. I was ATTRACTED to her, in a big way. Outwardly nothing in the environment changed but internally it was like that moment in a movie where someone new walks into the bar and even the jukebox stops and stares.

I looked at Rick and blurted out, “I think I’m bisexual.”

Rick paused in his monologue, raised his eyebrows, and said: “Well. Yeah.”

What can I say? Sometimes I’m the last person to know things about myself.


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