I thought y’all might enjoy a follow up to Friday’s post. After I finished my spell Thursday evening–and my blog post about it–I felt considerably calmer. I was able to get a good night’s sleep. Friday I left work early for a trip to the coast. When I got home, my girlfriend said, “Why don’t you call the courthouse and see if they’ll tell you what’s going on?”
Y’all, I had thought about calling the courthouse a few times, but I was leaving for work at 6:30 a.m., getting off at 3:30 p.m. and then going to my apartment to pack my things until 6:30 p.m. Also fretting a lot about why my letter from the court hadn’t arrived yet. I kept forgetting. So while we had lunch I made the phone call.
The nice woman on the phone told me a judge signed my papers on September 30, and the letter was mailed on October 3. She had no idea why it hadn’t reached me, but if I wanted to pay over the phone they could mail me a certified copy.
Turns out I’ve been officially divorced for weeks. I just didn’t know it. And I was so busy fussing and fretting I couldn’t calm down and make a phone call.
So what’s the lesson here? Well, as usual, I was my primary obstacle in this situation. I’m not beating myself up about it because I’ve been exhausted and overwhelmed for weeks–moving sucks. But still. That spell wouldn’t have been necessary if I’d been able to think clearly, to calm down enough to look up the phone number and make the call.
As a friend of mine said in a conversation a few weeks ago (and I’m paraphrasing here, I’m pretty sure she put it better than I am): If you’re living your life the right way, you won’t need to do a lot of spells. I couldn’t agree more. This isn’t a moral judgment. What she meant was, if you’re being a responsible adult, taking care of business, and doing your best to build good relationships with people, the need for magic won’t come up very often. In my opinion, magic works best as a boost to one’s mundane efforts, a balm for the psyche, and a method of transforming one’s perception of what is possible. It’s not a substitute for personal responsibility.
Come to think of it, when I look at it that way I feel okay about the magic I chose to use, and a little bit less sheepish about needing to use it in the first place. The most effective magic is always the magic I use on myself, to change my attitude and remind me that I’m not as helpless as I sometimes think I am. In that respect the spell worked perfectly.